Not the Lingerie Bowl

Well, this is embarrassing.  I'm supposed to be a knowledgeable football handicapper, but until 48 hours ago, I knew absolutely nothing about women's professional football. I didn't know that the United States had three professional leagues, I didn't know anything about what the teams looked like on the field, and I did not know that a local team was kicking everyone's ass.

Today I finally learned a few things. I drove to Bluff City (TN), less than 20 miles from my home, to watch the unbeaten Tri-Cities Thunder play the Hampton Roads (VA) Lady Gators for the USWFL Ironwoman Championship.

Evidently the Thunder (8-0) are pretty good. Going into this game, they had outscored their opponents 281-12.Their only competitive contest was a first meeting with the Lady Gators, which ended 24-12. By finishing second, Hampton Roads (6-2) had earned a rematch in the championship game.

I was really interested in seeing what women's professional football looked like. After all, the players would not have the hundreds of hours of high school training and team practices that male players accrue. How organized would these teams actually be? What about the hitting? Would it be as intense as a men's game?

Here are my observations. First of all, this is not flag football. It's not two-hand touch. It is rock 'em, sock 'em physical football. Second, I was surprised and impressed with the quality footwork at the quarterback and defensive back positions. I'm not sure how many hours of football these ladies have under their belts, but the quarterbacks seem to technically know what they're doing, and the defensive backs look as if they've played a long time. The quarterbacks also generally made the right reads, and there were only a couple of blatant misfires. The hitting, as I mentioned, is solid, and the tackling is good. Defensively, the women get sideline to sideline reasonably well. Some of the running backs have surprising speed. All in all, it's competent, intense football. Don't take my word for it. You can watch the USWFL championship game on YouTube. Both the Tri-Cities/Hampton Roads Ironwoman title game and the Division II Washington (DC) Prodigy/Keystone Arsenal title contest were live streamed.

I haven't yet mentioned what impressed me most about the women in the Thunder/Lady Gator game.  And when I say impressed, that is an understatement.

The game was played in the afternoon in Bluff City, with the temperature a blazing 88 degrees and the dew point around 70. The conditions were absolutely stifling. It was so humid that I sweated through my entire shirt just standing on the sideline. The teams wore full uniforms and pads, and in the case of the Thunder, dark blue uniforms with black helmets.

Now here's the thing. At season's end, with accumulated injuries, Tri-Cities suited up about 18 players. Hampton Roads had 15. So the majority of the women had to play both ways! Most had to play both offense and defense while manning multiple positions on each side of the ball. I was stunned that the teams handled the roster limitations so well in the oppressive heat and humidity. From the late third quarter on, some cramping occurred, but no more than one would see in any SEC game. And while the offenses were not sprinting to the line of scrimmage the second half, the actual intensity during plays never wavered. It was truly an ironwoman display.

The game I saw wasn't perfect. The teams were called for a handful of illegal motion and formation penalties. While no shotgun snaps actually went awry, Hampton Roads snaps did occasionally float back to the quarterback. The slickness of the ball likely contributed to that. Overall, however, the game was crisply played.

As I walked away from the Thunder's 32-6 win, the composure of the teams in the rugged conditions stayed with me. It impressed me so much that when I got home, this old distance runner wanted to verify the heat and humidity, so I went jogging for a couple of miles to check it out. My rule of thumb, after 45 years of long distance running, is to not work out when the dew point approaches 70 degrees. It's a good rule. The humidity killed me. The jog left me soaked and fried. I had not overestimated the brutality of the playing conditions.

I had stood a few yards behind the Tri-Cities sidelines the entire game. I heard almost no comments or complaints about the sweltering heat. In fact, the PA announcer reminded the crowd to stay hydrated more often than the players said anything about the conditions. It had been a real display of toughness in a grueling environment.

The game atmosphere in Bluff City (pop. 1800) reminded me of semi-pro games from my youth. I grew up watching the Schuylkill County Coal Crackers hammer interstate opposition, and the game ambience brought back memories. In terms of style, the Thunder offense hearkened back to another dominant team, the high school Berwick Bulldogs from their USA Today national title days.

The USWFL schedules their games in a sweet spot, after college basketball has ended and before pre-season NFL kicks off. Next season, the league will be expanding. I look forward to familiarizing myself with all of the divisions and reporting back here before the 2020 season begins.


Bob Dietz -- July 13, 2019

Trump, The Eagles, and Reading in the Rain

(to the tune of "Singing in the Rain")

I'm readin' in the rain.
Just readin' in the rain. 
What a glorious gaffe, but
Not my fault, once again.


This is another of those truly absurd bad beat gambling stories. I had absolutely no intention of writing it, but President Trump decided to give a big deal speech on Independence Day, and it was raining. Somewhere in the middle of the speech, the president talked about Revolutionary War airports, and that confused many people, historians and non-historians alike. Did I mention that it was raining? Okay, I guess I did, so allow me to circle back to that in a few minutes. For now, to describe my tale of woe, I'd best start at the beginning. That beginning was 25 years ago.

The Imperial Palace Casino (today The Linq) was a very interesting place in 1994. It had a one-way escalator from the strip sidewalk directly to the sports book, and the owner threw massive private parties celebrating Adolf Hitler's birthday. The IP had a wonderful little snack bar and a nice quiet buffet where you could retreat from the cacophony of Las Vegas Boulevard. My German heritage, in case you were wondering, provided no discounts, although it may have explained my credit line.

Jay Kornegay, who made the Westgate SuperBook what it is today, was running the Imperial Palace sports book back then. The IP sponsored a nice football contest for the masses, and that's where my story really begins.

The weekly contest required that you select the outright winners of every NFL game. No point spreads were involved. You also had to decide whether each game would go over or under 37 1/2 points. The contest didn't use the actual NFL totals; it used the 37 1/2 figure for every game. The first place weekly prize was 4K. I liked the contest because it paid smaller prizes to the top 50 or so. You didn't need a miracle week to make money.

The particular October week in question, I had gotten off to a strong start in the contest and was watching the Dallas/Philadelphia game. I had picked the Cowboys to win. Late in the second half, Dallas had the game well in hand, leading 24-7 in a driving rain. My totals selection for the game, however, was Over 37 1/2, so I needed someone to get another touchdown and kick the extra point. The rain fell harder as the game wore on, and I was getting concerned that there wouldn't be any more scoring. But as the weather intensified, Philadelphia put together a drive and punched it into the end zone, closing the gap to 24-13. I looked down at my contest tally sheet, anticipating that I'd win the total. And no, Philly did not miss the kick in the rain to break my heart. That would have been an acceptable, every-day kind of loss. It would not have been something I'd remember 25 years later.

But let's leap forward to July 4, 2019. President Trump, in front of the Lincoln Memorial, inexplicably mentions the American army seizing airports during the Revolutionary War. Did I mention that it was raining?

I figured, when Trump said it, that he was simply going off script for a moment and made a mistake while winging it. I thought that he had probably transposed the word "airport" for "sea port." People with the beginnings of Alzheimer's often swap syllables in similar sounding words. Alzheimer's or not, it would have been an understandable error.

When the president was made aware of his blunder afterwards, did he say, "I made a silly mistake?" Nope. Did he apologize with, "Forgive my elderly moment?" or "I lost my concentration there for a bit?" Not a chance. He explained the gaffe by saying that the rain had somehow affected the teleprompter, and it had shut down too soon. He also added that it had been hard to read the teleprompter in all of the rain, anyway.

I have no idea if the rain had messed up the teleprompter electronics or if our president simply couldn't read the words. Frankly, I don't much care either way. The only reason that Trump's mistake and excuses flipped my switch is because it sent me back, deja vu style, to that 1994 Eagles/Cowboys game.

Philadelphia had scored to cut the Dallas lead to 24-13. To win the contest total, all I needed was the extra point. I looked down at my contest tally sheet, then looked up to see the Eagles...doing what? Going for two? What?!? I sat there flabbergasted as Philly inexplicably attempted a two-point conversion. They failed. The rain continued. The final score was 24-13. I lost the contest total by half a point.

I kept doing the math in my head. Somehow I must be adding wrong, I thought. But nope. The score was 24-13. Going for two made zero sense.

Rich Kotite was the Philadelphia head coach. He wasn't the best NFL head coach; he wasn't the worst. I couldn't wait to hear his answer in the press conference.

Well, the question was quickly asked. Did Kotite say, "I made a really silly, stupid mistake?" Nope. Did he apologize for losing his concentration, his presence of mind, and his ability to add? No. When asked, Coach Kotite said the rain was so hard that it had made the ink run on the chart that tells him when to go for one or two. I'm serious. Kotite sat at the press conference and blamed his gaffe on ink running and his inability to read it.

Simple addition had evidently not been part of his job description.

It wasn't official until after the Monday night game, and the Imperial Palace's posting of the first place contest ticket on Tuesday afternoon. Then it was official. Coach Kotite's reading in the rain had cost me four thousand dollars. Funny as hell now. Not so funny that Tuesday in 1994.


Bob Dietz -- July 6, 2019

The Borg Have Been Assimilated

The Past

Harrah's Entertainment acquired Caesars Palace in 2005 and shortly thereafter went on an east strip buying frenzy that included Bourbon Street, the Imperial Palace, the Barbary Coast, and Planet Hollywood. I believe I may have been the first, but not the last, to dub Harrah's as "The Borg." Assimilation was inevitable, and resistance was indeed futile.

I wasn't too pleased with Harrah's acquisition addiction, for a number of solid reasons. When an overarching entity buys up properties containing sports books, all of the books under that particular umbrella become, in effect, one large-volume book. They usually have a single linked bookkeeping system for all of the properties, and each property has identical lines and all of the same futures odds. For a professional gambler, this is not a good thing. Gamblers prefer a range of lines. The wider the range, the better.

The Harrah's takeover of Caesars Palace's sports book shook me to my history-appreciating core. The Caesars sports book, along with the Stardust sports book, were the two iconic football locales during the 70's, 80's and early 90's. I spent my Saturdays at the Stardust and most Sundays at Caesars. These two places, along with the Mirage (1989 opening) and Binion's downtown did the highest volume of action with the highest limits. Harrah's takeover threatened the Caesars cachet. The Caesars Palace sports book was, after all, a famous sports betting destination. It was hallowed wagering ground. The Caesars book had 20 huge helmet chairs at the front of the seating area. Every Sunday, those chairs were filled with a veritable who's who of heavy hitters. In 2005, Harrah's, with its mathematically challenged Branson-esque clientele and tight-fisted comp policies, invaded Caesars high class kitsch. Nothing good could come of it.

My fears turned out to be justified. Harrah's co-opted the Caesars name. Despite a massive linked sports betting pool for the Harrah's properties, the wagering limits actually went down. Comps were cut, and niggardly nabobs of negativity ruled the day.


The Present

Fast forward to 2019, and we have big news. The evil Borg have themselves been assimilated. El Dorado Resorts has announced that it's made the deal to acquire what today is called Caesars Entertainment. The Borg failure doesn't surprise me. During the last 15 years, Harrah's/CET has downgraded video poker, reduced blackjack payouts, and capped sports book bets in a paranoid attempt to reduce expenses. Yet the company designed and built competing multi-million dollar nightclubs within stone's throws of each other. Plus (for some God forsaken reason) a giant Ferris wheel. Not much they've done has made sense, so here we are.


The Future

Do I think that the assimilation of the Borg is a good thing? Well, not really. From a sports gambling perspective, once again this means a likely reduction in range of numbers. From a general gambling and comps perspective, it's quite likely that El Dorado Resorts will not be one iota of an improvement over Harrah's/CET.

The July 2019 Las Vegas Advisor featured an ominous quote from the Wall Street Journal, "Part of El Dorado's success is its management's ability to slim down on unnecessary guest inducements, such as free drinks and hotel stays. Caesars has done better in this regard, too, cutting its perks about in half to roughly 14% of revenue since 2016. But El Dorado is better; its similar metric is around 10%." My reaction to the phrase "unnecessary guest inducements" was almost identical to the Las Vegas Advisor. The LVA author simply said, "Uh oh." I blurted out a Scooby Do, "Ruh Row." It sounds as if those Total Rewards slot club addicts may get slapped around pretty good. The Borg have been assimilated, and something worse than the Borg figures to replace them. It's the circle of life.

I'll close with some practical advice for those Harrah's/CET slot club members, who will be told repeatedly in the months ahead that their Reward Credits are safe and sound and that their comps will be better than ever once El Dorado officially takes the reins.

Back in 2005, I had a race/sports comp account at Caesars Palace. In advance of the Harrah's takeover, I asked seven or eight times what would happen to my accrued comps and the comp rate. The answers I received from all Caesars personnel were the same. Regardless of whether I asked ticket writers or assistant sports book managers, I was told that my comps were quite safe, and that the comp rate would actually improve when Harrah's took over. Being familiar with casinos, and also being a cynic, I didn't believe those answers. I quickly used all but $80 or so of my comp account.

The takeover day came, and not only were comp rates for sports bettors reduced, but comps that had already been banked were massively cut. Some players took hits of literally thousands of dollars in comps. Obviously, I wasn't shocked. I later learned that, depending on your status, some of the bigger players were able to negotiate to regain a portion of their gutted comps. The bulk of the smaller players, however, were left high and dry with no recourse. The fine print in players club rules gives the house carte blanche, and certainly gives a new owner mega carte blanche.

My recommendation for Total Rewards members is therefore "Player Beware." If you couldn't trust the Borg in 2005, why trust whatever assimilated them in 2019?


Bob Dietz -- July 3, 2019