I had no real idea who Eamon Lynch was before the LIV versus PGA flap. Now I know. He's a grown-up teacher's pet on an insult rampage. An insult rampage that should lead to all kinds of anti-Eamon litigation. He's been so over-the-top with his LIV-is-evil pitch that his writing comes across as comedy, kind of like Chevy Chase's "Jane, you ignorant slut" on old Weekend Updates.
Chunks of titles from some of Lynch's recent tour-de-forces:
"...players are ripping off the Saudis."
"The Saudis put a horse's head in Brooks Koepka's bed."
"Graeme McDowell's reputation the latest victim of the Saudi rent-a-stooge scheme."
"Dustin Johnson was presented a test of character by the Saudis. Unsurprisingly, he failed it."
Lynch is obviously an institutional hack, a hired hand fronting for the PGA in such a crude manner that he makes Jim Carrey with a megaphone seem elegant and demure.
I don't know a damned thing about golf (from a professional gambling standpoint), but this kind of blathering is right in the wheelhouse of my "Propaganda Files" series. Lynch is simply saying those things for which the PGA doesn't have the PR fortitude. It's also economically more efficient to obliquely reimburse an informal front man for defamation/libel charges than for an organization to shoulder the risk directly.
If I were Koepka, or McDowell, or Mickelson, I'd hire somebody to break this guy's right hand. Let him type lefty for awhile, as a double entendre reminder. If I were the Saudis, and I know a few people who have operated like the Saudis in my life, and I were a serious dead pool gambler, well, Lynch would make my roster.
I'd like to review some lovely comments Lynch made regarding Brooks Koepka. One of my developing skills is on-the-fly analysis of propaganda. That skill is largely wasted on the following, from a June 21 Lynch spiel at Golfweek, but I'll do my best:
"Beyond now having to labor at the beck and call of people he dislikes (with good reason, to be fair), the decision to join LIV golf represents a humiliation for Koepka, though he will be loathe to admit it. He has always fancied himself more an athlete than a golfer, but this is an admission that he's neither, that he's just an entertainer doomed to play exhibitions against the washed-up veterans and no-name youngsters that he's long considered unfit to sniff his jockstrap."
And:
"There is a trend apparent among the players going to LIV Golf, beyond the obvious thirst for money. In almost every case, their long-term ability to consistently compete against the world's best on the PGA Tour is questionable, be it on the basis of physical longevity (Koepka, DeChambeau), decrepitude (Mickelson, Westwood, Poulter), diminishing skill (McDowell, Kaymer), or apathy (Johnson, who'd rather be fishing). They are stars emeritus, their best rendered roadkill some miles back by younger, healthier, and more powerful competition. Any suggestion that he belongs among their ranks will wound a prideful man like Koepka, but it's true."
Lynch is so full of himself, and so full of spin, that he's missing the obvious. Every time Tiger Woods tees up these days, the PGA and broadcast networks covering Woods are guilty of pandering to someone whose physical longevity is shot, who's suffering decrepitude, who has diminishing skills, and while I'm not going to try tagging Tiger Woods with apathy per se, if someone is dosing themselves with sleep aids and painkillers, that's actually a form of self-sabotage as bad as any apathy. Committing monstrous and disproportionate air time to Tiger Woods makes the PGA and the broadcast networks guilty of every sin Lynch aims at the LIVers, including selling out.
Lynch evidently has had some intimate conversations with Brooks Koepka about jockstrap sniffing. Or Lynch is just making stuff up, which is litigable. More to the point, is any writer not on hallucinogenics going to say that Koepka and DeChambeau are up against "more powerful" competition? Really? Somebody had best get out his Merriam-Webster to look up "powerful." Every word choice Lynch makes is with the intent of insulting the golfers involved. Decrepitude for Mickelson? Lynch is flailing away. If any of the golfers mentioned had not joined LIV, would Lynch have assigned any of these word choices to them ever? Because if not, and I think not, we're looking at pure, PGA-approved propaganda.
Brooks Koepka, if I were you, I'd sue this guy into oblivion. Or one-up Lynch's teacher's pet act by reporting Lynch to the Saudi PR department. Let them deal with him. Now that I think about it, I lean to the latter.
Bob Dietz
July 4, 2022
