I suppose some of you are wondering about the title. Well, I am going to do something rare, namely plug an offshore sports book. BetOnline.ag had odds on everything in the title. I love it. The props were listed under "Entertainment" futures.
Until a few days ago, BetOnline had odds for, "Who is the owner of the White House cocaine?" The first number I had seen from them was Hunter Biden as the favorite at +170. People must know something about Travis Kelce, the KC tight end, because he was originally listed as the fourth choice at a miserly +800. In an odds move reminiscent of Score's Lock of the Year, Hunter Biden took all kinds of money quickly. His odds blew up to -500. Kelce tumbled into Snoop Dogg territory (+1200). Of course, now that the Secret Service has put a lid on the cocaine investigation (they "don't know and have no suspects" -- LOL), BetOnline pulled the cocaine odds. Damned shame.
Meanwhile, "Kim Kardashian's Next Lover" has also been yanked as a prop. If anyone is wondering about an ethnicity angle, Tom Brady was the first white dude listed, a fifth choice at +800. I suppose that suggests that Brady is a real man about town, which has been rumored for some time.
Fortunately, we can all still bet on aliens. We can wager on their skin color, where they will first land (Russia and the U.S. co-faves at +1200), and who will be abducted first. Trump is the fave at +2000.
I realize that people will bemoan no longer being able to bet on cocaine and Kim K's next lover, but BetOnline offers plenty of alternative action. Kevin Spacey's next lover, for example. Plus an entire array of props regarding the Zuckerberg/Musk cage fight. Most of the latter involve penis length, but action is action.
Are These Real Bets?
Evidently they are. I just tried to put a few bucks on Musk's penis length being longer than Zuckerberg's. Musk is -200. The wager panels worked. I did not confirm my bet, but everything seems to be live and working.
While it is indeed sad that I failed to have the courage of my Musk convictions, at some point I will hit the confirm button. What am I waiting for? Well, I'm notoriously tight, like Musk, and the size of the wager must be rigorously debated.
Bob Dietz
July 16, 2023
