I've followed Jean Scott, she of the Las Vegas Advisor's "Frugal Gambler" blog, since she first began writing. Back in the 80's and early 90's, while staying in Las Vegas 90 days a year each football season, Ms. Scott's tips and coaching helped me survive on very tight budgets.
These days, I do most of my Las Vegas football scouting, checking futures odds and evaluating available contests, during an annual July trip lasting just a week or so. In the past, most books have held off on college football futures odds and finalizing contests until July. But with sports wagering now legal in many states, some Las Vegas books are posting futures odds earlier so as to beat states to the punch. There is, after all, only so much money (in theory) to be committed by the public to football futures. Thus, in 2023, I decided to head west in April. An April excursion, it turned out, offered the opportunity to exercise some long out-of-shape frugality muscles. As I designed the trip, I realized that April offered some opportunities to, ahem, be cheap that weren't likely to be available in July. Emulating Ms. Scott while also emulating the frugal me of my youth, it turned out, were admirable goals, but easier said than done. I managed to channel her frugal essence in some instances but failed badly in others.
Flight and Hotels
The flight itself was a jackpot of frugality. I had never taken any flight to Las Vegas for just 15,000 air miles, much less a flight from the relatively small TRI (Tri-Cities) airport. But I was able to procure such a flight, and my outgoing went through DFW, which I prefer.
I have, however, lost some of the oomph of my youth, and my flights turned out to be a bit more of a physical challenge than expected. The outgoing flight required a dash through DFW and a late-night arrival in Las Vegas. The return flight required a pure red eye to Charlotte with a four-hour layover, and those E terminal connections in Charlotte rarely go without a hitch. That 15,000-mile frugality came with a physical cost.
My hotel choices featured a night at the Horseshoe (the strip casino formerly known as Bally's), a couple of nights at the Four Queens, and a night at the Tuscany. I waited to book the Horseshoe until I knew I would make my DFW connection, therefore I got a good rate, but not the best. My late arrival, however, led Horseshoe to upgrade my room. Very much appreciated. I try to support the Four Queens since it's one of few Las Vegas hotels that doesn't tack on a "resort fee." Four Queens was fine. My final night featured a Hotels.com booking at the Tuscany, one of my favorite places. Combined with my first night at the Horseshoe, I added two notches to my Hotels.com stash enroute to a free room (10 notches).
The Gambling
I did almost no actual gambling this trip. I scouted numbers, reviewed limits at various sports books, and verified that ownership/brand changes had not yet affected the aegis of on-site books at the Horseshoe and Mirage. I also verified that South Point no longer had satellite books downtown. My other responsibility was to pin down a schedule for a documentary filmmaker friend who'll be visiting Las Vegas in July. He needs a structured short list of mob highlights and locales.
In terms of table and machine play, I used a couple of Las Vegas Advisor coupons to massage me through maybe two hours of video poker play with a net loss of, ta daa, $34.
Recreation and Food
I used an LVA coupon to knock four dollars off my Mob Museum admission. The museum is impressive, and one can spend a full day there if invested in the subject. I had intended to spend at least half a day at Area 15, but between horrendous traffic and the fact that I had a vehicle rented for just 48 of my 96 hours, I decided to save Area 15 for a longer trip.
My opinion of the South Point buffet matches its LVA ranking. In a world where the charm and value of old-style LV buffets have almost disappeared, the South Point buffet has created a time capsule of quality and price. I must also give a thumbs up to happy hour at Oscar's, which featured very reasonable prices in a very attractive setting. In addition, while at the Four Queens, I had my usual bang-up breakfast at Magnolia's.
Of course, I also availed myself of the classic off-menu Ellis Island $9.99 steak special, right around the corner from the Tuscany. You no longer have a beer included, so I shelled out four bucks for an iced tea, but it was still a retro meal deal in a nice room with great service. I was flanked by two couples also enjoying that special.
The Car Rental
In keeping with the frugal spirit, I plugged into the lowest price two-day rental on Priceline, which required picking up and dropping off at Treasure Island. Well, as I waited in line to pick up at the Dollar kiosk hidden away on the second floor, I eavesdropped on customer after customer being told that the only vehicles available for their reservations were electric, and none had a full charge because Dollar did not have a working charging station. The most-charged car was at 57%.
Fortunately, my reservation had been made sufficiently in advance (and paid for in advance) that they had saved me an actual gasoline vehicle. My renting a car, however, turned out to be a royal pain.
Las Vegas is redesigning and repaving the strip in preparation for a November Formula One race, which is evidently a bigger and more profitable deal than hosting a Super Bowl. Las Vegas Boulevard was therefore one lane in each direction from Paris to the Stratosphere, and the roads to the west of the strip were a labyrinth of cones and detours. Just a mess, and it doesn't figure to improve anytime soon. Had I attempted night-driving west of the strip, it would have been a complete horror. It was the worst non-holiday traffic I have seen in Las Vegas in 45 years.
Blowing Taps on Frugality?
Every frugal day has its downside. The absence of certain frugal Gibraltars has had its effects on me. I had never fully recovered from the closing of the classic buffet/coffee shop at the Fremont Casino, and I was suddenly, surprisingly confronted with no Fremont Casino Lanai Express, my hangout for dollar shrimp cocktails and good soft ice cream. First no Golden Gate shrimp cocktails; now no Lanai Express. Very disturbing. It crushes my frugal spirit.
I'll no longer shop for inexpensive car rentals since driving is such a major mess. If I need to check South Point or M, I'll do an on-site-wherever-I-am rental for 24 hours, regardless of cost, and live with it.
And as usually happens on flights through Charlotte (my return), my E-terminal flight was delayed a couple hours. There's nothing like plopping down in a freezing airport at 5 AM after a red eye and realizing (1) you're going to be there longer than expected and (2) there are three flights all delayed and scheduled out of the same little gate at the same time, so nobody knows nothin' about when you might actually get out of there. That 15,000 air-miles round trip came with a cost, as I said earlier. I won't be doing red eyes through Charlotte again. I'm just too damned old.
A Final Homage
Ms. Scott always kept a cheerful disposition in her writings, regardless of outcome or hassles. I try to do the same, but I'm not nearly as disciplined.
I'm glad there's still an Ellis Island steak special (sans beer) and a South Point buffet and some classy happy hours. But I mourn the Lanai Express and the old bakery shop in Caesars' Palace, and I miss the overpriced but quality buffets at Paris and Harrah's and Planet Hollywood. I even miss the birds outside the old Flamingo buffet. I wonder how the hell anyone taking the strip busses can possibly get anywhere with one-lane traffic in both directions and pedestrians still crossing the strip.
Las Vegas has always felt like home to me, a place where wits and judgement and frugality combined to present opportunities. In April, however, Las Vegas seemed more like a grotesque tourist trap, offering little in the way of playable video poker or slot clubs with meaningful benefits.
Perhaps my tone has been skewed by my sampling a $13 pastry called a "Feather" (glorified banana bread), featured where my favorite Caesars' Palace coffee shop has been replaced by a more bourgeoisie pastry counter. Or maybe that return red eye drained my 65-year-old positivity a bit. We'll see how dampened I am soon enough, as I'm scheduled to return to Las Vegas in July.
Until then, perhaps it's true that we cannot go home again. But just in case, someone please ask Jean Scott to save a chunk of Ellis Island steak for me. And tell her to lay off the Feathers. They're bad for the wallet, and bad for the frugal soul.
Bob Dietz
April 30, 2023
