Here in The Asylum, we know something about "Rounding the Corner." The psychiatrists continually tell us that we're rounding the corner to sanity. What they don't tell us is that sanity requires recognizing and experiencing pain. So we invented a game to remind us. It's a boatload of fun. You get a group of people, choose a rectangular building, and run as fast as you can around it. Hidden from view, around one of the corners, you've had somebody prop a shovel against the wall. Whoever is leading when they round that corner grabs the shovel and takes a healthy swing at the second place person rounding the corner. After you've whacked him or her, you yell "It," drop the shovel at their feet, and re-assume the lead and keep running. The person who got whacked, if they are alive, takes the shovel and whacks the next person rounding the corner, who then becomes "It" (note the Stephen King reference). The eventual loser is whoever, after being whacked, suffers such egregious injury that he or she is unable to hold the shovel and damage the next person. We call our game "Rounding the Corner." So much fun at so little cost.
This week in The Asylum, things have gotten even more grotesque than usual. Since the U.S. yesterday set daily Covid-19 case records, we can expect hospitalizations and deaths to hit the gas pedal. So of course the U.S. is going to follow the Coronavirus Task Force recommendations as laid out by Mike Pence in my June 27 "Task Force Review." We're going to pray, and pray, and pray, and pray some more. Evangelical "worship leader," former California Republican Representative candidate, and Fox News regular Sean Feucht has somehow wrangled the National Park Service into allowing he and an estimated 15,000 like minded souls to pray maskless at the National Mall in Washington, D.C. this Sunday. While fish and loaves are reportedly not on the menu, covid-spewing hallelujahs should be plentiful. The event has real potential for going viral, if you get my drift.
If praying is not your cup of tea, have no fear. Many pseudo-secular events are on the U.S. special events calendar. Super spreader rallies have been scheduled across the entirety of The Asylum. While the secular-ness of these rallies may be debatable, they will all feature plenty of opportunities to play "Rounding the Corner." The fun never ends, as they say, unless it ends for you.
The rest of the civilized world may look askance at our American pandemic response, but that's because they haven't played "Rounding the Corner" as we have. And if those travel bans on Americans stay in place, how are we going to export our game of games? The foreigners will never learn. Those travel bans on Americans, by the way, don't get mentioned much in polite company these days. I'm sure other governments are intensely ashamed of not allowing our stable genius-ness to cavort on foreign soil.
Meanwhile, the liberal media was caught completely misreporting what the president did during one of his initial high security briefings at Mar-a-Lago. Various left wing outlets have said that the president called a waiter into the secure meeting room so he could order a milkshake. The agenda-driven media has it all utterly wrong. President Trump ordered a malt, not a shake, and malts are totally different. As a fervent malt fan, I can vouch for the dramatic difference.
Speaking of malts, which are somewhat rare these days, I wish to explain that the president's recently uncovered Chinese bank account was simply a means to finance malt shops when he visits China. One cannot overestimate the importance of malt availability in international environs. Current American travel statuses, however, do pose an indelicate question. If Americans are banned from almost every country, will China allow President Trump to visit even if he offers to buy everyone a malt?
I'm thinking of subletting my wonderful room in The Asylum, since demand for my room should be overwhelming in another 10 days or so. A new Yahoo News/YouGov poll last week revealed that fully half of Trump supporters believe that Democrats are running an elite international pedophile ring. I'm assuming once sanity takes over government, my room here will be in high demand. It's likely that this will be a very popular destination for the folks who are hunting pedophiles for the president, once they are rounded up. They belong behind these four walls. And there are quite a few million of them. Best time to sublet, wouldn't you say?
As I type this, the significance of the malt topic has finally dawned on me. When it comes to keeping children safe, malts are a useful way to lure youngsters from Democrat pedophile clutches. Sometimes the president is three genius steps ahead of everyone else.
Well, they're calling me to recess, so it's time for another session of "Rounding the Corner." I hope we use a snow shovel this time; the game tends to last longer. All you really need to thoroughly enjoy the game is blind faith, a shovel, and a willingness to talk others into doing things that cause them harm. No shortage of any of these in The Asylum called America.
Bob Dietz
October 25, 2020
