Never let it be said, however, that the inmates aren't running The Asylum (better known, in some circles, as the United States). President Trump tweeted about Dr. Stella Immanuel, a pediatrician and front person for something called "America's Frontline Doctors." He then publicly defended her to the press, saying she was "very impressive." Dr. Immanuel declared that no vaccine was necessary and masks weren't needed because the cure for COVID-19 was hydroxychloroquine. For the moment, I don't want to get into the Dr. Immanuel's previous lectures on demon assaults and incubi-induced pregnancies. I have, in fact, read the Malleus Maleficarum (a copy sits on my book shelf here), but we can venture into demonology sans the GOP another day.
Then we had Texas' Representative Louie Gohmert testing positive and opining on video that wearing a mask and mishandling it may have caused him to get the virus. Mr. Gohmert, of course, was notorious for not wearing a mask in the halls of Congress. Cognitive dissonance theory applauds Mr. Gohmert's reaction to his positive test and wishes him well.
Arkansas' governor, the inestimable Asa Hutchinson, he of the "let's not lock down at all," then declared (without mentioning any evidence or studies) that "we have not seen any correlation between an increase in cases and lifting of restrictions." This was a very interesting statement for two reasons. First, Governor Hutchinson managed to sneak the word "correlation" in there so as to hint at some scientific heft to his proclamation, but then skipped any actual details. Second, I'm really curious as to who the "we" in Hutchinson's statement references. One would think he'd be a bit specific if he were floating this kind of proclamation. You know, so the good folks in journalism could track down his "we." But no such luck. On the bright side, Governor Hutchinson's "we" has more credibility than President Trump's favorite attribution, "Many, many people."
In the recreational part of The Asylum, meanwhile, baseball's startup has been a semi-disaster, with multiple teams suspended from playing due to widespread positive tests. Players are opting out of the season on a day to day basis, and Red Sox pitcher Eduardo Rodriguez has been ruled out for the year due to heart issues caused by COVID-19.
The Week Got Worse
After Dr. Fauci explained publicly that Europe has controlled the virus better than the United States because Europe's economies shut down 95% while the U.S. retracted its economy by 50% for a shorter duration, President Trump tweeted on August 1 that Fauci was "Wrong." No meaningful or demon-recommended evidence followed. I wonder how often in his life the president has won the day by simply saying "Wrong" without providing credible arguments. What that must do to a person's critical faculties, I can only imagine.
Fox News, assuredly making their weekly The Asylum contribution, managed to defend the Demonolatry Doctor. Fox is to be applauded for its commitment to "fair and balanced." The Devil needs equal time, certainly, in a predominantly Christian country. The Fox and Friends schedule this week features a Thursday guest appearance by Pazuzu.
Former presidential candidate Herman Cain died on July 30 at age 74. He had attended the president's indoor Tulsa rally. Obviously, no cause-and-effect can ever be firmly established, but the implications are terrible for the GOP. What I found most intriguing about Cain's illness was the utter lack of publicity. While people such as Tom Hanks, Chris Cuomo, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, Indris Elba, and Rand Paul all publicly announced their diagnoses, Herman Cain's diagnosis and progress were not disseminated to the public.
Once again, what was not said famously told you more than anything that could have been said. Herman Cain's death was another proverbial albatross around the GOP's neck. Rather than news cycles mentioning his illness every day, Mr. Cain's condition was withheld from the American public for GOP optics sake. Until he died.
And finally, the coup de grace of the week. While pushing to open schools and universities, the GOP banned the press from the Republican National Convention in Charlotte, ostensibly because adding press members would create additional virus crowding hazards. Open the schools, close the convention. Just brilliant.
With any luck, next week will be more sane. I've been saying that, however, for five months now.
Things can't get any stranger (cue organ music), or can they? How much horror can we handle? Please check back next week for more Tales from The Asylum.
Bob Dietz
August 3, 2020
